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wantedalone

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[13 Feb 2006|02:49pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

How bout that snow?


I have a cold.. or something. And I feel dizzy and light headed from the medicine I'm poppping. I kinda feel buzzed. Its grreat.



How was this weekend?

- Friday = Sick. Doctors. Lots of walking. Northeastern. Get Crunkk.
- Saturday = Sick. Cousin! Kellys RB. Bus trip with T. Target. Valentine Cards. Never Been Kissed.
- Sunday = Relaxed ALL day. Olympics.
- Today = NO SCHOOL! Lunch w/ T and her mom.

and for the rest of the day? well im going to the BPL with Mikhail in a few. A&E with T and dunks and CVS. and yeaaahhh alright well i gotta goo!

when i'm making my movie

I could breath, if you would stay here another song. [27 Jan 2006|11:18am]
[ mood | blah ]

Yellowcard is playing tonight and I'm really upset that I am not going.. truely. Everytime I try getting tickets, something goes wrong. I guess its not meant to me. But I am going to the Celtics game with Tim, and that will be fun because I havent seen him for a long ass time! And the times he visited Jordans don't count because we were totally best friends when we worked!! Also, AAR is playing at the game, so thats awesome!! Thats no Yellowcard, but its a start.

Last night I wanted to crawl in a hole, for serious. I talked to Jon and I cried and went to sleep. This past week its been so hard for me to sleep, and I hate waking up in the morning, I look like shit and I get an awful feeling.

Mikhail came to wake me but I beat him.. almost. We went to class and after class I saw Dimond this morning and I jumped to him! Dimondddd. I just filled out an volunteer thing and I'm going to "get dressed" for class, but I'm never dressed. Fuckk that, sweatpants all the way. Sayyinn' Sayyinn'.

Tanya got a TATTOO yesterday and its cuteeee. I was SOO TEMPTED to get my second one, but I need to go tanning before I do that..! And buy books for school.. fuck school.

I dont want to go here next year, I'm thinking about going out of state, to the extreem. I gotta get away away away from here.

Maybe I'll be going to RI sooner than I think to see Hellogoodbye! We'll see whats up with that soon.

Tomorrow I'm going to Salem, holla holla. Bayley time to the max!!

I'm going to go to the gym today after classes. Fun stuff..! I want to go running on the river but I dont want to look like a fuck when I have to stop every few steps because I'm out of shape, so I'll just go to the gym when there is no one there because people are at work.


I'm going to be skinny as a mother fucker and tan like a ho. I'll be inked up like a whore, and smart like a cigerette. It'll be soo much fun!

I have to pee, just a tad. Tanya just went in the shower. Boo. I love how this music makes me feel, but I hate it all the same.

when i'm making my movie

Hello you, how was the rest. [26 Jan 2006|02:10pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I don't know where I'm at anymore, what I'm doing.

2005, was a crazy year. My favorite Uncle died, and it was devestating. I fell in love, and it was amazing. I was totally sad about the loss of my Uncle but I had a reason to be happy at the same time. I was happy at the same time. Totally insane, isnt it? March - Sept/Oct were amazing months. There were some sad times but overall, I was in love. I could tell him everything, even if I didnt want to say it at first, but I ended up telling him. I could sit with him and cry. I was open with myself, and it was great. And then the falling out is awful, but we all have to go through it at somepoint. I've learned and I'll grow.

I've been feeling screwed up like I used to feel. I'm more empty than I was before and I'm right back where I ended. Picking up where I left off, and it's hard to find angels in hell.

Myspace fucked me up.

So I'll keep on the track I'm on, no one's going to take me off it. I don't want them too. My new years resolution is taking place.. slowly but surely.


So for now, I'll keep my Yellowcard blaring, my drinking to a max, my smoking to a habbit and I'll keep designing my future tattoos.

2 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

[24 Jan 2006|11:44pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Whhhhy.

2 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

[13 Nov 2005|08:20pm]
[ mood | content ]

Take the quiz: "Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?"

Gisele Bundchen
You are nice, trendy, and love to have fun!

i had fun lastnight with tanya and allie.

when i'm making my movie

lonely and cold [22 Oct 2005|09:33pm]
[ mood | sad ]

NATALiE[goincrazy remix]
Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo

Ever since the day you went away
And left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same
Oh baby no
When I looked into your eyes
The moment that I let you go I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man
Would ever make me feel so right

It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me
Right next to me
And I miss the way you hold me tight

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

That's right baby
I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

That's right baby
Im going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me
And you want me
And you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
Put it down be the woman for you
I'm falling so deep for you
Crazy over you I'm calling
Callin' out to you
What am I gonna do?
It's true no frontin'
It's you ain't no other
I can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

That's right baby
I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

Look ma'
Let me talk for a minute
Got a feeling me and you ain't finished
Got the messages you left on my phone
Said you missed me gurl
To being alone now
Your world's turned upside down
Without me bein' 'round
Hold up now
I'm not done
Sit back down
See I was going crazy for you (for you)
You were going crazy for me
I dont wanna fuss and fight no more
Don't leave me girl
That's just not how it's supposed to be
Oh baby I'm crazy, you crazy, we crazy
I want you back
You're my everything

That's right baby
I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo
--------------------------------------------

so i havent talked in a WHILE!!!!!!!
im laying in bed right now.. yeah im so LAME!

im kinda sick. but not really i lied.

when i'm making my movie

i'll never break your heart, i'll never make you cry [22 Aug 2005|02:04pm]
[ mood | content ]

7

sucks

boo

i love my new pajama pants
i don't want summer to end

when i'm making my movie

All you have to do is call.. [16 Aug 2005|12:34pm]
[ mood | awake ]

i'm pretty much done shopping for college, which is good. i got a big fluffy comforter yesterday its for a duvet, whatever the fuck that is. anyways my mom's gonna make me a cover for it, how nice :)

today michael works @ 3. its 12.35. i was gonna go over there but im kid-watching till the rents get back.

the bACKSTREETbOYS concert was INCREDIBLE

i have my bleeding gift and i feel like shiit. i look like shiit. my tits are bouncing. my back hurts cuz im a slouch.. i gotta work on that

i've talked to all my roomiis and it's going to be fun

i got my laptop this weekend. its so pretty and sexxii and ooohhh
now i have to buy it a home

when i'm making my movie

[14 Aug 2005|11:57am]
[ mood | hyper ]

havent written in a while.. i know! what's up??

so... whats been goin down after my last post. did you know me and kelly went to the cape and had "bad luck" kind of a funny story.. let's see i'll just list some things that went down that day.. and you would of had to been there to appriciate them.. its the fair day.. kelly "played" pool with my cousin. we went to breakfast. went to the fair. mechanical man got me. bacon brothers weren't there. not good lemonade. poor food choices. dragging around water bottles. 2 useless tickets. didnt get to see my 2 best cousins ever [geana & andrew] couldnt meet george canyon [we bought the cd's to meet him] because my aunt and uncle wanted to leave early. didnt go to pufferbellies to see jordan knight, dan miller, and jeff timmons. THE ENd

so even if they werent the greatest things to happen we still had a great time down the cape together, you know? cause i love kelly no matter what not good stuff happens, it just rocks.

whats been chill since then? i left jordans on august 3rd and i miss it but its nice to have nights off to actually go out. i still work at the dome.

saturday the 6th was the bLOCK PARTY!! niiceness. i went with keL and my cousin michael. we trucked down in the van and partied the day away. i saw jocque.. he remembers everything from a few years ago. shauna was nice, i liked her. and randy was there but mike didnt work for my uncle anymore which is sad to hear! andrew is the cutest thing alive in the whole world ever for ever.

fun times.. fun times.. we slept at nana's that night and we sat at the beach, me and mikey got philli blunts and kel and i got tea and we sat on a towel in the sand and looked at the stars and then we walked down the beach and kel sat on the swings and talked to christian and me and mikey just chatted about things. we left the next day after we went to breakfast, played pool & video games.......

i went to boston that next day with the fam for on of the feasts in boston. agripina [i can't spell]. alota dudes were hittin on my to the extreem and that rocks. hahaha.. i got free food, i have beautiful eyes and a nice body, im a librarian. what more could a girl ask for..?

lets see... the 10th was my boy 50CENT & kel's boy EMiNEM and we had a BLAST. we left around 3ish and got there after 4. we hung in the parking lot and just chiLLEd. when we walked to the gates some guy like grabbed me.. gently not like rape grab but like took my hand and shook it and like hugged me. weiRdooo.. we went in and got free condoms and peed.. i was so sweaty i couldnt get my pants back up very good like it took me a while, which is sad. the concert was great.. lil jon & the east side boyz rocked.. i saw justin & steve [they won tickets to the concert at jordans] in they're box seats i went down to say hello. after lil jon. 50 went on with </b>gUNiT.</b> and they were awesome. EMiNEM was on after, and he tore it up.. that concert had so much energy it was insane. mcdonaLDS afterwards was an obvious. we sat in lots of traffic on the way home.. i'll take 95 next time instead of 93. how about that..?

time goes on and.. i worked thursday during the day instead of night.. friday i.. hung out the house to "help" my mom out. watched harry potter 3. got the new dane cook cd. showered and got pretty and went to the movies with my boyfriend :) we saw wedding crashers, it was pretty alright. we went to keLLYSRB on the beach after. sat & chiLLd. i got upset but im over it.. we went back to mi casa after a pit stop and dD and just rolled around.. and like everytime somebody's gotta bounce, something wants to go down but nothing went down this time. we talked on the phone [like always] before we went to bed about stuffs. goodnight!

saTURDAY i woke up and went to work at 11. everything was fine and slow.. until 11.50 when all hell broke loose.. a baseball team came in, and these kids were showing me no mercy.. the parents were complimenting me afterwards, they were brutal. i was alone, it was like an ambush, i didnt kno what was going on, the cones were breaking left and right, one of the frappee cups was left unclean and went right into the ice cream when i tipped it to put ice cream in it. my hands began to smell like hot dogs with one order after another. kids interuppting other kids, a boy wanted his 2 waters even tho his coach told him to hold on.. it was insane.. whats even more insane is that they guy gave me $120 when his bill was $76.. and that's prettii nuts and i love nuts

the cookout was saturday also.. at brian [& jary's] which was fun, wiicked good food. we drank, ate, and got high. what more can you ask for in a day? hahah. okaii.. i know what you can ask for..

the bACKSTREET bOYS is what you can ask for.. to me, no single thing is more amazing than seeing the bSB perform.. [well no, hANSON but thats something else to talk about.] tODAY iS tHE DAY fOLkS

when i'm making my movie

keep me guessing.. please.... [25 May 2005|12:00am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

wow the last day was today.. you speak crazy talk.

its over.. no more.

in this past year i've gained so much and lost so much more.. in the past 4 years, i've been through so much, with so many different people. i hated it all and at the same time, i loved it all.

freshman year was the year of freedom, friendship and crushes.. there was my crush on phil. my relationship with jblake. and my bigger crush on fro. there was also terrence.. jeez. then my girl, cyndi. jackie came onto the scene also. dont forget the wakefield boys!

friendships grew apart over the summer.. cyndi and i's went squaSH. but friendships grew stronger and new relationships bloomed. there was jonathan.. and britney and i hung out alot.

sophmore year started off.. new friendships bloomed. there was our awesome biology class, kel and i became good friends. janelle too! ashley, we, throughout the year became "JACK" but it didnt reach its peak till much later. jonathan and i broke up, so did my friendship with britney. april vaca was amazing and then JACK died..

summer always separates people, no matter if you try hard or not.. you also meet new people. i met the medfords through a friend in a local band. see what music can do.. bring people together. so summer went on.. and paul and i were good friends by the end of the summer.

junior year started off good.. there was "ACK", trips to salem, me, ashley, kelly and mallory. no more janelle. there was jan brad though. we hung out from time to time, trips to boston, salem. the trips to boston, were usually kel, ash and i. sometimes we'd go to see ash's dad play in his band. there was edison, and lots of good laughs.. but people change. there was california dreamin, because the OC is amazing. then i met chris and we dated for 2 months, and let our on/off relationship drag on for a year. i met MW and the kid with the last name wood. there was hidden pond, or harry potter.

the relationship drained my summer from my usual activites, looking back i regret it but i suppose it was all for the best. ashley met ricky and she seemed to turn away from kel and i. it was a rocky summer. the cape was good, kel ash and me.. ash skipped out early, but no one doubted that shed leave with ricky. by the time school started i felt so distant from her already. she was my leaning shoulder, always an amazing friend, or was. apparently boyfriends are more important.. but how should i know..?

senior year, supposedly the greatest year. i say not. my relationship with chris dwindled on, and ashley only seemed to get further away. kel and i were fine. then people get sick, people die, just like friendships. in january my uncle passed away.. me thinking my friends would come and support me should have been a smart thinking, however turned out it was my biggest mistake to think. apparently i wasnt thinking when i asked ashley to come to his wake. i mean, she had met him, and stayed at my grandparents house before. she was, at one point my best friend and at that moment, everything changed. kel was great, dalyn too. it was such a hard time in my life, still is a big thing for me. chris came, i know he wanted to be helpful, but sometimes i question it.. past is past, cant take it back. by march it was DECA time.. and things that were left between chris and i got finished on the phonecall before i left for the competition. nothing more was ever said, and im glad. at the deca thing, i met michael and he's been great. we hung out, licked each others faces, wet willys, u name it. we started dating 4.20.. go us :) i started talking to cyndi again and got my tounge pierced.

summer begins for me, today was the last official day of high school! we cleaned out our lockers, that was crazy. all the pictures.. me and ash movie theater pictures, kel playing drums, kris at jessica simpson, pacifier tags, all the stuff that represnts the past four years, is trashed.

now im graduating and theres so much left undone but everything is finsihed all the same..

4 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

[06 May 2005|08:53pm]
[ mood | content ]

havent written in a little while.. oh well.

weLCOME 2 miAMi

when i'm making my movie

[04 Mar 2005|01:18pm]
[ mood | blank ]

the oc is an amazing show. i dont know how some people cannot watch it but i guess its just not they're style. whatever. i kno i totally am in love with it, even watching repeats, its like watching family videos or something, its just awesome!

tonight kel and i are hitting up the town. that should be fun.. like old times but w/o ash

im bummed ashley isnt gonna come, but what can yah do.. nothing i guess, if she wants to hang out with her boy thats cool. even though we havent talked in a long time dosent mean we can't still be friends, but i guess she see's it differently.. kinda sucks but i'll get over it i guess, i dont want to put time and heart into a friendship that isnt gonna work out in the end..

tuseday was my emothy apt. physcologist shit. fuck that..

2 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

do u remember when [12 Feb 2005|12:05am]
[ mood | depressed ]

It's been a while..

HappyCollapse )

KellyCollapse )

when i'm making my movie

[08 Dec 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Magic 106.7 makes me want to slit my arms open...

...so thats what happened.

when i'm making my movie

[03 Dec 2004|10:40pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

i wish i was the skinny girl that looked cute wearing weird clothes and pull off anything i wore. the skinny petite short girl with a short haircut, dyed all funky and stuff. the wicked cute girl that every other girl envys and secretly wants to be.

fuuck thaat

christmas is coming. christmas is coming. christmas is coming.

2 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

[22 Nov 2004|09:43pm]
morning.

chris got me glittery candles that glittered my bed. but i like them because its apple crisp and the wierd spelling on the side made me laugh when i tried to read it and thought that was the actual name until i turned the package. and a cute red crab that is good for my knees. thank you sugarplum

life is pitiful so do community service like me.

till next time.
1 HEY| when i'm making my movie

yea yea im cherry cola. [18 Nov 2004|09:18pm]
[ mood | confused ]

the oc rocks. ryan said he liked journey, that was goooood. ryan is beautiful. the walkmen's lead singer is hawt. i listened to their cd online in the summertime, it was good.

kel and i went to target tonight. got 5 baskets. last night, went to target with chris. got 4 baskets. total of 9, that is good, i can add.

tomorrow is friday. tomorrow, scott and i are going bowwwwling. i think.
the next day is saturday. i'll be working the night away.
the day after that is sunday. and it means that monday is after that.

the stepford wives. saw that in film.

no one has makeout buddies to help me with my film project. no one's dating anyone. who cares. i'll fail at life, its all good.

i gotta get outta here. wtf.

my laundry never gets dry, wtf.

1 HEY| when i'm making my movie

[13 Nov 2004|08:54pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

work was cool today. 8-5 goes by faster than you'd think. and to end a great day i didnt even have to work at the dome because someone filled in last minute. but that also meant i'd be doing nothing tonight, which kinda blowed but im wicked tiired.

my 2nd cousin OD on heroine this past week. it suckedd when i heard the other day. i didnt know him all too well but there was always those times when we had a family party which was cool, usually every july 4th. its all good. it was sad. drugs are sad.

i wonder what my uncles doing right now...

its only like 9... and im going to bed, jeez what a night.
all that excitment got me run down.

i got 100 bucks for working like 3 nights last week. w00t. i wonder what a holiday, and a weekend and a tuesday will get me.

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20041113113209990001
YOu should all read that... I'm in the process of doing so. It's about police tazering kids.

so yeah when i went to the used, the whole sto crew was there and there was this kid who i kinda talked to last year and then idont know what happened. we didnt "talk-talk" but he was gonna teach me how to play the bass and that never happened. well we were there down in the pit inbetween bands and he asked me out on a date. thats pretty exciting news! not alot of ppl say to me... hey lets go on a date. like an official date. things might be called dates but like the word date is so... out-dated and 50's style but its still so cool. like im excited about it.

when i'm making my movie

[11 Nov 2004|09:31pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

the oc was on. rocking. i heart ryan. seth was turned down but NOOOOO it was funny when he was on the hot dog. and its sad that she turned him down. and ryan turned marrissa down and TJ is not that cute, just his body, omg his body, but his face... ehh could use a little work. kind of reminds me of felix on OTH but felix is cuter.

vetrans day was today, obviously. in film this week we watched *we were soldiers* and that made me cry alot. it also has been making me think so much about everything that sucks about alot of things. like war is horrible. i already knew that and today when i was taking a shower i was singing that awsome song... i'm proud to be an american where at least i know im free and i wont forget the men who've died who gave that right to me and i proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today cuz there aint no doubt i love this land... and so on... anyways and i remember hwen i was a kid and when my cousin was over seas at the gulf war thing and how we were all together and stuff and yah it was just a memory trigger of how worse things are right now. and how i want to write so many letters to people overseas and just tell them how its awsome they're there. i was watching chronicle today after work and i was like crying listening to the wives tell the stories of how it is without their husbands. and the mothers of kids who've died over there. i remember when my neighbor went over for a year when bush first sent people there... that was rough. our whole street pulled together, had a great big bash for him and when he came back, omg was it awsome. he sent us pictures over the internet sometimes and that would be awsome to hear from him. it just makes u think.

the used was kickIng in the Assing. fucking w00 fucking h00.

i worked today
i was sick last night
what a way to spend a no school the next day night and a no school day.

friday im going to chill with kelly to the hardcore. saturday im working from 8.30 am to 10 pm. with a not even one hour break in between bcuz by the time i actually get out of jordans it will be like 5.30 and i got to dome like 20 minutes later. then i dome it from 6 to 10. go home, go to sleep and sunday morning i go back to jordans at 9.15. so yeah, exciting. to top off the excitment im there till about 7.30 or later.

once again i'll have no weekend, but yah thats fine cuz i dont really deserve a weekend i guess. i mean no one wants to fill in for me at dome so whatever, even if i did have it off, what would i do anyways? no one ever wants to call up the poor bastard child and ask me if i want to hang out for a change.

1 HEY| when i'm making my movie

LET iT SNOW!!! [08 Nov 2004|10:22pm]
it semi-snowed tonight
wet snow

i bought 2 christmas cds.
THE OC MiX3: have a very merry chrismukkah
A SANTA CAUSE: iTS A PUNK ROCK CHRiSTMAS.

worked with big brother tonight. w00Tw00T. always a blast.


THE OC is aWESOME
3 HEYs| when i'm making my movie

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